A Modest Proposal - Fred Small

    I remember well when I was but a child of tender years
    The day that I discovered the catalog from Sears
    The people in the pictures they made me stop and stare
    Who'd have guessed that they'd be dressed in thermal underwear?

    Underwear! Long underwear!
    It makes the foulest weather feel like fair
    It's ten below and icy winds blow whistling through the air
    Let it storm I'm toasty warm inside my underwear.

    Prudence says to set our thermostats at sixty-five
    In skimpy briefs and brassieres you will not survive
    The Lord in all her wisdom gave us more than skin and hair
    She gave us wit, ourselves to fit with thermal underwear.

    Underwear! Long underwear!
    Beneath our clothes, without it we are bare
    Plutonium is perilous and coal pollutes the air
    The energy source that's best, of course, is thermal underwear.

    Paul Newman wears it all the time and Redford he does, too
    Barbra Streisand swears that it's the only thing to do
    Lovers, if you think that taking off your clothes is nice
    Do not miss the greater bliss of taking them off twice!

    Underwear! Long underwear!
    Slip inside and leave behind your cares
    The oil and gas kingpins will rant and tear their hair
    Who needs them? We've got a friend in thermal underwear.

    © 1981 Fred Small,Pine Barrens Music (BMI)


    Marco Giunco
    Work Basket Music Words