I've never had herpes, hip hip hooray
I've never had herpes, oh happy day
I've never had herpes, I hope I never do
Cause herpes is forever,
They never leave you
Now they've got penicillin
if you've got V.D., and if you can't get an erection they've got therapy.
And if your scrotum's like a balloon that won't deflate, you can always get a doctor to message your prostate.
And there's ointments for your piles and cream for your crabs, but they're still searchin for a cure for herpes in the labs.
But who cares? Cause...
Now I had my penis caught in
the zipper of my pants, and then it got infected so I had to have it lanced,
and then they had to sew it but first they had to grow it so I wouldn't
pop the stitches when I made romance.
But time heals all wounds so now it's okay, but time can't heal the herpes so I'm glad to say...
So don't kiss your uncles and
don't kiss your aunts and if you're not with the one you love, keep it
in your pants.
'Cause herpes is forever, so you better behave or else you still might have herpes when you're buried in your grave.
Two, three, four, everybody sing...
I've never had herpes, and I hope I never will, cause it ever had herpes, I'd have herpes still.
© 1983 Bob McGrath