Johnny Macaroon and the April Foof Brigade - David Massengill

    Twas April Fools' we blokes planned a hoax for the folks
    Who enjoy a bit of joke strictly from Lilliput
    All we need was a goon or a loon we did swoon
    When came Johnny Macaroon the village idiot

    So we told a little lie asked him why don't he try
    Some of our Spanish fly for the horn it gives
    Johnny swallowed the above like a dove so in love
    What he thought would help him shove was a chocolate laxative

    To a house of ill repute we did scoot for some poot
    Told Johnny that his root would be king for a day
    Then Johnny asked a girl for the whirl of her pearl
    Guaranteed her hair would curl--if these gentlemen would pay

    Well we grumbled quite a lot for the spot it was hot
    But liking it or not we said yes if we could watch
    No sooner said than done Johnny's fun was begun
    As he yummed her honey bun with a firebrand crotch

    Then Johnny shot a moon the buffoon played a tune
    The burstling of balloons from his buttocks was fired
    The flurry of his farts were an art they did part
    With such grace and heart his timing was inspired

    He played some melodies farting free as can be
    "The Flight of the Bumblebee" and Gershwin's "Summertime"
    There was nothing to compare to the air we did bear
    When he began to tear "Reveille" in double time

    We nearly died of gas from his ass he did pass
    But saved his best for last--we were all shit-faced
    Thank heavens for the end of the lend of his wind
    Though nothing could amend the damage to our taste

    But our sigh of relief it was brief as a thief
    For soon it turned to grief when Johnny lit a match
    The eruption did begin peeled the skin off our chins
    If there ever was a sin--Johnny wasn't even scratched

    We began to curse and swear tear our hair in despair
    And to finish the affair called Macaroon a ham
    And that we must insist he desist of his blist
    Or with collective fists we'd put a cork to his dam

    But we forgot the whore she did roar an encore
    That she'd never felt before a volcano erupt
    And let there be no doubt we ran out in a rout
    For we heard our Johnny shout he was just warming up

    You should have seen our feet hit the street in retreat
    Our hearts skipped a beat when a bus backfired
    We were victims of a sting we did bring in the spring
    And we couldn't find a thing in our joke to be admired

    © 1983 David Massengill
    David Massengill Music


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