The Eunuch's Lament - David Massengill

    I am a eunuch brave and true
    I am a eunuch through and through
    With a hey ninny ninny
    High ninny ninny
    Hey ninny high nanny poo

    O in this life I've had no fun
    I've had no gun to bang the bun
    With a hey tooter shooter
    High dangler banger
    Hey tooter high banger boo

    I have no ding to dong the queen
    I have no use for the latrine
    With a hey zipper dipper
    High zapper dapper
    Hey zipper high dapper doo

    O as a lover I am a flop
    I've never heard a cherry pop
    With a hey piggy squealer
    High fanny squasher
    Hey piggy high squasheroo

    The Queen is hot but I am not
    For long ago my wad was shot
    With a hey blapper nipper
    High blapper whapper
    Hey blipper high whapper woo

    The clocks go tick the bells go bong
    I'd give my arm for an eight-inch wong
    With a hey wonger bonger
    High wanger banger
    Hey wonger high bangeroo

    I am a sexless shepherd bred
    I'll never prod where others tread
    With a hey gooser moocher
    High gander masher
    Hey gooser high masher coo

    O all the plums of Italy
    Will never peel their bush for me
    With a hey beaver basher
    High pubic poacher
    Hey beaver high poacher chew

    My feet are flat and not only that
    I've got no balls to beat the bat
    With a hey weener peeler
    High tater nailer
    Hey weener high nailer blue

    The dames go chit the dames go chat
    I cannot wipe their welcome mats
    With a hey weezer squeezer
    High asser splasher
    Hey weezer high splasher poo

    John Dillinger had a twelve inch prick
    It's fellers like him who make me sick
    With a hey super drooper
    High party pooper
    Hey super high pooperoo

    The time has come to bid good riddance
    Til the eunuch makes his next appearance
    With a hey fuck you
    High fuck you
    --And I mean that with all my heart...on--
    Fuck you and your big whalzoo


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