Gandhi - Charles D. Herold

    I was sitting in the kitchen eating yogurt with a fork because all the spoons were in the sink,
    The yogurt lid was on the table, and all the cockroaches thought it was a skating rink.
    I saw a really big 'one . I picked up a book, it screamed out, "Don't kill me!
    'Cause I'm the reincarnation of Mahatma Gandhi."

    I was surprised, no roach had ever spoken to me like this before.
    I thought it might be a joke, but cockroaches aren't known for their sense of humor.

    "I thought you were a friend of God--and he would put you up high."
    He said, "1 thought so too, imagine my surprise."

    I left some orange peels out so he would have something that he could live upon.
    Pretty soon they were covered with roaches, he'd invited all of his friends to munch along.
    My girlfriend screamed when she saw them: 'I don't leave out food it drives me crazy!"
    I said, "I did it for the spirit of Mahatma Gandhi ."

    It's real nice in the funny farm.
    I've got a great view.
    And Napolean has such charm--I'm helping him plan for Waterloo.

    I saw the doctor, I said, "You can let me go. I am perfectly okay."
    He said, "It's probably true, but I will never make any money that away.
    What seems to be the problem?" he said.
    "My cockroach is Mahatma Gandhi ."
    He whispered, "My pet turtle is John F. Kennedy."

    They let me go, because the doctor needed my room, that's what they said.
    Later I heard that his pet turtle had been shot twice in the head.
    When I got back to my apartment the locks were changed.
    And my girlfriend wouldn't give me the key.
    But she gave me Mahatma Gandhi

    © 1985 Charles D. Herold


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