The preacher asked her
And she said I do
The preacher asked me
And she said yes he does too
And the preacher said
I pronounce you 99 to life
Son she's no lady she's your wife

And I can't remember
How I met her
Seems like she's always just been hanging here off my right arm
And I can't remember
How I ever
Thought that I just couldn't live without a woman's charm

And even though
She loves the smell of French perfume
And even though
She walks around in high-heel shoes
All I know
Is I'm the one who pays her price
Man she's no lady she's my wife

And I can't remember
How I met her
Seems like she's always just been hanging here off my right arm
And I can't remember
How I ever
Thought that I just couldn't live without a woman's charm

Yea she hates my mama
She hates my daddy too
She loves to tell me
She hates the things I do
She loves to lie beside me
Almost every night
She's no lady she's my wife